A replacement iPod in just 15 Easy Steps

I love my iPod.  I use the crap out of it.  Aaaand...I suspect that they may have contributed to the early demise of my beloved iPod Nano.  Given the fact that I sleep with it on in my iHome every night...could I have blown the power supply?   I don't speak techie, so I don't know.  I suppose it doesn't matter now.  It only lasted about a year and a half.  Though I take it for an odd coincidence that my iPod died a mere 3 days before Steve Jobs?  Fate?  Fortunately, the one and only stroke of good luck that came with this whole ordeal is that I had bought a two-year warranty on it, AND I managed to find it (truly a miracle given the fact that I've moved in that time frame).

Anywho, my recent adventures have led me to create a step-by-step guide to replacing a dead iPod.  If you think it is as simple as going to the place of purchase, waving a paper, and bringing home your new baby, you are quite wrong.  So, if you should find yourself in a similar situation, please follow this guide to replacing your iPod. :)

How to Replace Your iPod

Uh-oh!  Your iPod has died!

Step One:  Do you have an active warranty?  If no, then say a tearful goodbye to your hard-earned money as you shell out for a new one.  If yes, then please continue to Step Two.  

Step Two:  After locating your warranty, drive 45 miles to the nearest Best Buy at the next available opportunity (one of the many perks of living in the middle of nowhere, huh?).  

Step Three:  Locate the Customer Service desk and wait a minimum of thirty minutes for your turn to come up.  I bet you wish you could plug in to your iPod right about now to pass the time as you wait, sucker.  

Step Four:  It's your turn!  They will confirm that your warranty is still in effect.  Go pick out your replacement and come back to the Customer Service desk!

Step Five:  Uh-oh!  In the entire store, they don't have a single 16GB iPod Nano!  Would you like to exchange for something smaller?  No, not really.  Would you like to go upgrade and pay the difference?  No thanks, I'm broke.  Please go back to the Customer Service desk to figure out what to do next. 

Step Six:  Wait an additional twenty minutes for your turn at the Customer Service desk.  Damn, I really wish I had an iPod right about now.  

Step Seven:  They will order a replacement for you.  Please wait one week before coming back to pick it up.  Oh, and it's probably a good idea to go ahead and buy another warranty since the last one was handy.  Enjoy the 45 mile drive back home empty-handed!!

Step Eight:  Receive an email stating that your new iPod is in the store!  Make another 45 mile trip to Best Buy.  

Step Nine:  Lookey there!  There's no wait today!  Head to the Customer Service desk and pick up your new iPod!  Hooray!  ~*confetti*~  But you're not done yet, pal.  Drive another 45 miles back home and continue to Step Ten.

Step Ten:  Great, you're home!  Plug in your iPod, and let's sync it up!  Uh-oh!  Your new iPod is not compatible with the old version of iTunes on your computer!  Time to upgrade, I guess.

Step Eleven:  Your router is being particularly moody today and is currently not in the mood to pick up your internet signal.  There will be no downloading a new version for a while yet.  Mutter a few colorful words and try to muster up some patience.  

Step Twelve:  After battling a come-and-go internet signal for a few hours, unplug your ancient desktop computer and drag it down the stairs and plug it straight into the modem.  Patience may be a virtue, but it doesn't have to be one of YOUR virtues, now does it?

Step Thirteen:  Go to the iTunes website and click on the link to download the latest version of iTunes.  Uh-oh!  The site is down for maintenance!  Choose your favorite angry and say them with some feeling.  

Step Fourteen:  Oh yeah!  Maybe you can get to the download straight through iTunes!  Give that a try!  Yay!  Something works!  Download your new version of iTunes.

Step Fifteen:  Plug in, sync up, and breathe a sigh of relief like a heroin addict finally getting their fix.  Enjoy your new iPod, and don't forget to store that warranty some place safe.  That you'll remember.